Fighting With Grief & Anger is Losing

i'm exhausted, but i stood in the dirt & washed all of the dishes because i'm mostly tired of feeling bad. i'm reminded to stop fighting & just take the next step toward feeling better.

Eventually, after a period, however long, of exhaustedly wrestling with yourself in grief and anger and the madness of them both, you will surrender to the feeling of it and let it consume you.

You will stop fighting with yourself (because you’re just too damn tired) and you will, at some point, begin easily to listen to the voice that’s been saying, “wash the dishes, you’ll feel better.”

The voice gently says, “wash your body, you’ll sleep better and feel better.” And as you feel better, you will desire more feeling better.

Eventually, you will begin to think with a bit of enthusiasm, “in fact, I do want to feel better!” And so you wash the dishes. And then you take a shower, you brush your teeth and you get into bed so you can sleep well. And you get up the next morning to have an even better day than the last, and the day before that, and so on.

Depression sucks but action loosens its grips.