Alpaca Onesies

a short story written in early 2017 after a wild, impromptu trip to Peru

"If he doesn't think it's a great idea, he's not our guy." Grace stubbed out her cigarette and peered over my shoulder at the message I was preparing to send.

Alpaca onesies, it's genius, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to wear a cocoon made of luxurious wool, maybe lined with fleece? Yes, definitely lined with fleece. Anyway, I had a (Tinder) friend in the textiles industry there in Perú and he was going to tell me what he thought of our (brilliant) idea.

He thought it was shit. The alpaca doesn't deal well with sweat, it'll stretch, it's not made for that.

He wasn't our guy, but I did have an epiphany in that moment. I was in love with a guy who didn't think being in a relationship with me was a great idea... he wasn't my guy, and I’m still obsessed with alpaca.

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